Getting Ready to Go!

Welcome! This is the first of what appears to be a rather long deployment process for our family. First and foremost just let me say I realize I am not the first person to go through a military deployment as a "trailing spouse" and unfortunately I will not be the last. A few things will be unusual about this deployment:

1. My wife is actually the person deploying, not me.
2. While actually in the Navy, my wife will be deploying with an Army hospital as part of the military's Individual Augmentee program (IA).
3. We have only lived in the Norfolk area since June 2009. While it is a relatively easy place to get around in, we still haven't totally explored the area to find the outstanding restaurants and other local speciality shops that we knew in the greater DC area.

The purpose of this blog is not to complain or fuss about the Navy or the military. It is to give a real-life example to those currently going through a deployment or to help those about to go through a deployment. The true purpose of this blog is to give me a place to write and to provide some assistance if possible. For some reason not to be debated here, the military doesn't seem to be doing a very good job dealing with families left behind while our spouses are deployed overseas - at least in my case they don't seem to be. We found out my wife was going to be deployed late September 2009 and so far I have had only three contacts from the military:

1. First was a class we attended as a pre-deployment brief. Maybe 10 minutes of this class (2.5 hours total) was geared towards those remaining behind.
2. The second contact was a phone call from some person in Bethesda, Maryland (4 hours away) insisting I make an appointment to come into her office for a meeting. When I told her we lived in the Norfolk area, at first she didn't believe me - once I convinced her we did actually live where I said we did, she apologized and said she would pass our information on to someone else.
3. The third contact was in early January in the form of a phone call from the local IA Case Manager to make sure she had my correct e-mail address. So far, I have received two e-mails from her - one was to make sure she had the right address and the second was about all the great deals Disney and other fun places were having for the military this year - like I really want to go somewhere like that this year with my wife overseas!
4. Oh I nearly forgot the piece of paper the Navy gave to my wife the day she left her command -"The Role of the NMCP Command Ombudsman." Does that really count as a contact?? (NMCP stands for Naval Medical Center Portsmouth and an ombudsman is a link between the family and a military chain of command).

Why do I feel I can provide help to others in this situation? Prior to becoming a "trailing spouse" I was a Chief Petty Officer in the Navy so I was on the other end of the deployments - I was the one leaving for six or more months at a time. I have a good knowledge of the military and what my wife will be going through once she's overseas. I've never worked with the Army before but I have worked with the Marines and Air Force. Once I left the military, I have been taking care of the house, budget, a great majority of the shopping, dealing with the schools and being a taxi driver for the girls.

I do anticipate some struggles, mainly in the area of meal planning. The cooking and stocking the pantry won't be an issue but my wife was always my conscience when it came to proper nutrition and all that - after all, I am a guy and I personally could live on cheeseburgers and fries but I realize that's not a great way for kids to get stronger. I'm going to try really hard not to let eating out be a rule - I'd like to keep that to a minimum.

And finally, we have two daughters - a junior in high school and a 2nd grader. We also have a dog who is fully convinced she is a person. Just like many military families, our families do not live close by - my wife's family is in Kentucky and my family is in Ohio. Yes, they are just a phone call away so we'll see how that goes.

My wife was very good about following the checklist the military provided to her - all of our bank records, all of our bills and any financial issues are in both of our names and we have let everyone know she is deployed so I will be making all the decisions. She also left a power of attorney to deal with anything related to financial situations, taxes, schools, medical and the such. She also left a will and what she wants done in case of severe injury to her.

I hope this helps someone and if you have any questions, please feel free to ask - I'll answer as fast as I can or I'll add it to the next blog. I plan to do this daily probably just before bed! Enjoy.